Who gets to tell you who you are?
Who do you think you are? Do you get to tell me who I am? Why would you think you get to tell me what to be like? These are hard and real questions. So how do they fit with us today?
Let me put this into perspective. This past week I launched the school of identity. It was a risk. I did not know if you would read anything I wrote, let alone interact with me. In essence, I was letting you judge me, and that was a big risk. So let me go through my week with you, so that you can see my journey.
Monday. I put my first blog out. And then I posted it on social media. That was a risk, but it was one that I had to take to be obedient. Not obedient to my boss, but obedient to what I believed God wanted me to do. It was a risk, you could’ve laughed at me, but I chose to believe anyway, that God’s view of me was more important than the way everyone else viewed me. But remember, I took a risk that my identity would be questioned and my self-esteem would be challenged.
Tuesday. I started to see some of you interact. It felt good. I gave that to the Lord. I had to make a conscious decision, every time that someone affirmed me, that God was the root of my identity, and the affirmations from others was the fruit of my obedience.
Wednesday. More risk. I felt less affirmation but decided to continue on. I found myself asking, “Would I go on this path with the school, if no one else will follow me? I have to say yes, because I knew that if I was obedient to God, He would provide everything for my active needs as well as for my identity. I had to say this to myself a number of times, to assure myself. On paper I appear confident, but in real life, I have to work hard to remember it.
Thursday. I started to think about the live broadcast. This started to intimidate me. I quickly ran out and purchased some equipment. I have been saving for two years to buy myself a treat. But instead of buying my long awaited gift for myself, I invested in you. Again this was a risk, I needed to put my money where my mouth was.
Friday. I started going over my notes for the live broadcast. This was scary but also incredibly exciting. Again I would put myself out there, trusting that my identity was in God, not in my ratings. Oddly, the live broadcast did not have many people tune in. For those of you who did, I am grateful. I had to actively choose again, that God would confirm my identity, and that others would only affirm my confidence in God and His view of me.
Take Away
So there you have it. I have exposed my insecurities to you. So what do you think I feel now?
I feel good. One of the great lessons I have learned about my identity, is that when I rest in God, relying on the fact that He thinks I’m amazing, my insecurities have to submit to Him, and not me. This does not mean that my insecurities don’t come at me, but that they need to take a step back and realize who I am. God is the root of my identity, and you, who believe in me, are the fruit of His love for me.
This week, I ask you, who gets to tell you who you are?
So awesome, thanks for your vulnerability Brad! I enjoy reading about your process! Vulnerability is so important if we expect to make a kingdom impact. Thanks for paving the way brother!
Thanks Kelsi. Like I said in the post, it was a risk. But a foundational element of a strong identity is a comfort in your vulnerability. You must learn to rest in your weakness.