I have a question for you. It’s not going to be overly comfortable. Or at least, it might not. I’m not trying to ask you something hard for the sake of hurting you, but it’s kind of like asking you what hurts when you go to the doctor.
You know, when you go to the doctor and you tell them what hurts. It seems like they take your information as a list of all potential targets for them to push on. Like if you say your arm hurts, what do they do? They push your arm. Ouch! That hurts. Then they keep pushing it to see how much hurts. Did they get into medicine to hurt people? It could feel that way if this was the end of the check up. No, they don’t want to hurt you. They want to help you. But to find the pain is the first step into bringing healing.
So here is my question for you… what do you think about yourself? Ouch. That can hurt. I know that this question used to hurt me. But now, it doesn’t. Does it hurt you still?
I remember from when I was a little boy, the idea of the golden rule. You remember it? Treat others the way you want to be treated. This was actually taken from the words of Jesus after He told us to love God with all of our being. Jesus said, “Love others as you love yourself.”
Here’s my next tough question. Do you love yourself? Really? Again with the painful questions.
I have found in my life that this question can be painful. But to be honest, it hurts most when I don’t have a good grasp of who God has made me to be. I mean, it’s easy to be nice to people without loving yourself, but when you love yourself, you understand better how to love others. Do you understand what I’m getting at?
If I feel loved when someone does something specific, it doesn’t mean that everyone loves that. For example, if you give me a verbal encouragement to show me love, it will make me feel worth while. But if you give it to someone that speaks the love language of “Acts of Service”, the words won’t make the same impact, if any at all.
When we understand how we need to be loved, then we start to take the step towards understanding how others need to be loved, and perhaps different then us.
So we go back to the beginning… What do you think about yourself? Do you think you are worthy of love? Do you think you have to earn love? Do you think you are loved by God, but it’s too hard to feel? Do you truly love yourself, or just tolerate yourself for the good of others?
This is not simply a blog. It has been designed with community in place. So I ask you, would you journey with me in these questions? Would you take the risks you feel you can to dig a little deeper in your identity in Christ… in practical terms?
Tell me…do you love yourself?
This is such a great beginning session. I remember when I first realized that in order to truly love others I had to love myself. I hated that! I didn’t want to love others the way I loved myself because I realized that that was not good enough for them. BAM there it is. I didn’t value myself.
I am thankful that I am growing in this and really beginning (I say beginning because I don’t know if I will ever fully know until heaven) to believe that I am valuable and deeply loved. It has changed the way I love others. I see that I can still fall back into old ways (especially when I haven’t spent enough time with God) but I pray that each day I will grow more and more to love the person that God has made me to be! And HE doesn’t make mistake 🙂
That’s awesome Kaitlyn. Too often we find ourselves actually tolerating our own lives and personalities instead of loving who we are. We must come to the place where we love and enjoy ourselves but that is a long journey. I hope this is the beginning of it for many.
This is really cool to learn about and explore further!
On most days I would say I love myself, but I’d say I lack that consistency in my confidence. An awkward moment, a lonely day can so easily shape my view of myself. As you said in the video, as you make yourself vulnerable, the success or lack of it would’ve had the power to shape your identity, and I don’t want that anymore. I know there will be many days where I need to go to God for Him to remind me who I am and Whose I am, but I want to desire His voice more than I desire others to affirm that in me. Because right now I think I depend a little too much on my interactions with others to affirm my identity. And I so badly want to gain a greater understanding of my identity in Christ because for a while now I’ve had it come up over and over again that Christ’s call or yoke for each person is unique- like I understand the butterknife theory suggests- and I want to live according to that calling and step forward with confidence in how God made me rather than trying to fit what I’ve had communicated to me that every proper Christain does.
Thanks so much for this Brad! I’m excited to continue tuning in!
Hey Natalie. I’m so excited for how you already see this journey. I am committed to walking with you and so many others on this exact issue. The hard thing is, while we should not get our identity from others, God has made us for others. So the route must be that we love ourselves in order to love others. When we do this, we not only have identity in our design from Christ, but just how good our design is from Him and others.
Consistent belief and practise is where I find myself in this. And although belief shapes action I find with identity that there are actions I can do that help reinforce my ability to love myself as the Bible instructs . As I am consistent it builds up the love tank so I can operate out of true identity WITH abundance. ..
That’s a great statement Randy. Thanks so much for it. Identity development does come with practice. My deepest desire with this school of identity, is to help people practice those practical aspects of their identity. I want everyone to see themselves the way Jesus sees them.