So I sit here. I’m typing. I’m intimidated. I’m worried.
It’s not about what I need to type for you today. I’m becoming comfortable with that. But it goes beyond this post, and to the greater vision of the school.
What if I fail you? What if I disappoint you? What if all of the vision in my head for the school of identity looks only good in my head but I can’t deliver it to you?
This is the fear I’m living right now. So what do I do? Do I simply give up? Or do I push on, hoping and praying, that God will give me everything I need to live out the vision I believe He has given me?
I’m at a crossroad.
Some context.
I’m about to launch the first Full course for the school of identity. It’s something I have been imagining for months now. But I feel so inadequate with the technology behind this, that last night, I simply have to close my laptop and hope for a miracle. Here’s the miracle. I woke up. But I still have to do it.
All the things I need to consider overwhelm me today. I’m offering a course to you, so many of you from different countries want to take it. I’m honored by this, but the fear of it also pushes me and perhaps seems to be more influential in my thoughts than I once believed it would be.
So here I am, hoping to deliver. My identity feels like it’s wrapped up in the school, so what do I do? Is my identity at risk? Or is it more about my skills?
Gods grace and strength.
I don’t admit all of these things to you so that you will somehow feel sorry for me. I don’t share with you my fears so that you will meet my needs. But I share these things with you, to illustrate to you, that the struggle to keep my identity in Christ from the position of victory, comes with a lot of work. I’m committed to you.
It is by Gods grace that I continue. It is by Gods strength that I keep pushing forward. I’m still asking for a miracle. I asked Him to help me do this all well. I also boldly ask you,to pray for me as we move forward together.
So where are you right now in your journey? Are you living in fear? Are you worried about what other people will think if you don’t deliver? I get it. I live it. I’m deep in it.
I trust my honesty will encourage you to deepen your trust in God, but to also live a life of integrity with others.
So I push forward. Will you?
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